Thursday, May 21, 2009

Chick Flicks

I like movies. You probably know that. But seriously, I like them so much. I like them, like them, you know? It's like, I now pronounce you man and movies.

It's sad. I'll watch any movie, anywhere, anytime.

I'll even watch chick flicks. Now, most guys won't go near a chick flick. And that's their perogative. But it makes me sad to think of all the movies they're missing out on. Most guys don't really know if a movie is a chick flick or not. I imagine this is how most situations go down...

Sally: "Will you see a movie with me? It's about a girl that..."
Johnny: "No way!"

Seems like Johnny might have the wrong idea about Sally's movie. You see, most chick flicks are often confused with romantic comedies or dramas. And romantic comedies and dramas are perfectly watchable for men. But how can anyone really tell the difference? I present to you, The Good Indoorsman Chick Flick Calculator. Sally can use this to decide if her favorite movie is a chick flick, before making Johnny suffer through it. And Johnny can use this, entering information he gets from movie trailers, reviews, or from what their other couple friends have told them. How many times have you been on a double date, and the other couple tells you about this fabulous movie you just absolutely must see. Well now you can put them to the test.

You may have predicted that The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was a chick flick, but here's the proof.


You may have thought A Walk to Remember was a chick flick, but you'd be wrong. See?


For each X in the first section, you add a point. For each X in the second section, you take away a point. All 8 factors can be found in chick flicks, but more or less of certain criteria defines the genre. If you have 3 or more points at the end, your movie is a chick flick. If you have 2 or less, your movie is perfectly dude-viewable.
The calculator is pretty self-explanatory, with the exception of "2 Sided Romance". Let me explain this. Romance is completely acceptable in a non-chick flick movie, so long as it is reciprocated on both sides for the majority of the film. It can be an off and on romance, which is typical of some romantic comedies, but the "girl-tries-to-get-guy-but-guy-doesn't-notice-her-boo-hoo", is not a 2 sided romance and therefore points to a chick flick.

Much love to my wife for being an Excel wiz. I will post the actual working calculator online as soon as I can figure out how to post things online.

1 comment:

Fletch said...

Love the chick flick calculator. You should apply its rules to a number of thought-to-be-borderline films that people have debated over the last few years - Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Bull Durham, Jerry Maguire, Knocked Up, etc, etc and see how they all stack up.

I can probably help you figure out how to get it online, too. Do you mean just posting the excel doc online?

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