Devil

Hey.

Been a while.

You look good.

So my friends and I went to see Legend of the Guardians. You know, the owl movie. When we got there, the ticket lady said they weren’t playing it. The Regal website said they were, but they weren’t, and she didn’t know why. She just pointed to the electronic signboard behind her, where the owl movie showimes ended at 3 pm. Can’t argue with that.

So we saw Devil.

We thought it would be good for a laugh. But actually, Devil is a pretty decent flick. It’s scary as hell. You’ve probably seen enough advertisements to know that this is the movie about the people on the elevator. So I don’t think I need to explain much more than that. It’s about people on an elevator and they may or may not have encountered the devil himself. According to the film’s narrator, a security guard who watches the events unfold, the devil arrives whenever there is a suicide and torments the damned on Earth.

When the movie starts, the first thing you see is “The Night Chronicles” followed by a giant number 1. This is the first in a Twilight Zone-like series of supernatural movies under the night chronicles moniker. M. Night Shyamalan has invented each story, the final one apparently based on an Unbreakable sequel, but he isn’t directing. I think he is tired of getting laughed at. Devil is directed by John Erick Dowdle.

In my opinion, M. Night should be happy with Devil. Like I said, it’s really scary. Devil is legitimately the scariest movie I’ve seen since The Ring. In a decade of torture porn, this is a refreshing change. There is actually little to no blood or guts. No one has their eyes poked out and no one is surgically attached to someone else’s butt, centipede-style. For the most part, the really gruesome stuff happens when the lights go out. The lights flicker and you know something bad is about to go down. Only hearing the nasty stuff, and not knowing what you’ll see when the lights go back on, is the scariest part. I think that’s more effective than the disgusting garbage all these amateur studios have been filling Blockbuster with.

The tension increases with the concept that humans become the villains when we are at our worst. I quote Rodney Dangerfield, “What good is being the best, when it brings out the worst in you?” Okay, that’s a stretch, but I watched Ladybugs this morning. In Devil, the five characters are so stressed they turn on each other, which adds a whole new freaky element. Dowdle’s other movie, Quarantine, was also successful as an experiment in claustrophobia.

In classic M. Night style, the actors aren’t the best. I only recognized one of them - he was on The O.C. They do pretty well for the most part, and they are convincing, but there aren’t any stand-out performances. The most annoying thing is when they look into the camera when addressing another character, as if the audience were that character. I get that elevators are small and probably hard to film in. It's just irritating and I might be the only one that noticed it. But now you will, so enjoy.

I’m not sure how scary this movie will be on video, unless you have a really big TV with great surround sound. For me, Devil worked as an experience. When the lights go out, the theater is pitch black and you become an elevator rider yourself. You can’t really escape. In your living room, you can keep the lights on. Plus, you can take the stairs. So, if you’re looking for a good Halloween flick and are tired of the Saw movies, go see Devil. And bring a second pair of underpants.

3 safer methods of transportation because you will not want to ride an elevator again.

Jonah Hex

Jonah Hex is not the worst movie of the year. It’s far from that and I think it succeeds at what it is – a summer movie. We tend to expect huge jaw-dropping blockbusters in the summer because we’ve been spoiled. Generally speaking, the greatest movies we see during the year come out during the summer months. Because of this we lose sight of what a summer movie really is… just something to do. It’s entertainment and it’s nice to get out of the heat for a while. I’m not saying a movie is allowed to suck just because we were bored and needed an escape for 90 minutes. I’m only saying we shouldn’t criticize movies too harsh when it doesn’t live up to summer standards.

Jonah Hex has plenty of faults, but it’s not terrible. Like I said, it is what it is and I quite liked it. The action, the brief moments of comedy, and the special effects are all decent. I’ve always liked Josh Brolin and he’s pretty good as the vengeful titular cowboy. I’ve always liked Megan Fox as well and she’s not as bad as I would have thought. She’s cute and pulls off a relatively convincing southern twang. Both actors do well in their action sequences and have some nice chemistry.

Now, if you’ve got nothing else to do this weekend and don’t feel like standing in line for Knight and Day or Toy Story, see this movie. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. However, this movie can easily wait for video and I’m guessing that since it’s getting such bad reviews, Jonah Hex will be on DVD soon.

I’ll only highlight a couple things I disliked about Jonah Hex, because I really don’t want to dissuade anyone from seeing it. First of all, Josh Brolin’s make up is cheap. We’re supposed to believe that from a branding “accident” he is badly burned and has a hole in his cheek. To me it just looks like they put a piece of string cheese over his lip. It’s rather distracting… and disgusting.

Jonah Hex also severely lacked development. The writer spent very little time on his characters. Maybe they thought followers of the original comic already had enough information, but I’d never actually heard of the this book. The villain Quinton Turnbull, played by John Malkovich, is the most one-dimensional. There is little to no back story, so we don’t really know why he wants to destroy the country. Other than a shocking intro scene where Turnbull murders Jonah's family, we don't see much of their history together so any meeting between the two if them isn't very interesting. Plus, and I don’t think I’ve ever said this, Malkovich really phones this one in. He’s played some crazy guys before, so I really expected something more menacing. In Jonah Hex he’s just kind of “Grrr! I’m a bad guy! Okay, where’s my paycheck?”

The last thing I’ll mention is that the supernatural theme is a bit off here. We see that Jonah almost dies at the villain’s hands and because of this, he can speak to the dead. It’s a pretty cool concept and most of the time it works. However, there is another power that I don’t understand at all. It has something to do with dreams or the subconscious mind or something. Jonah is told in a dream sequence that his “unfinished business” is fighting and defeating the Turnbull. Ok so that’s cool I guess. But then we have to see the dream sequence again edited in with their actual fight at the end. That didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me and was a little annoying.

Despite a few problems, Jonah Hex is an okay movie. I enjoyed it. If you go into it not expecting too much, you may enjoy it too. As I said, don’t rush out to see it. If you’ve got nothing better to do, check it out. What else are you gonna do with your summer? Hang out at the Gas n Sip?

3 comic covers

The Road... the scariest movie ever.

Have you heard of this book, The Road, by Cormac McCarthy? I've heard of it, and I've heard people say they love it. If the movie I watched last night is anything like the book it's based on, I don't think I'll read it. Not that it's a bad movie; it's decent actually. It's just so scary I can't imagine getting immersed in it all over again.

The Road stars Viggo Mortensen. His character, known as the father, has survived some kind of judgement day style nuclear war. He wanders the country with his little son during this post-apocalyptic winter. The sky is cloudy and dusty, so plants won't grow. Without plants, the animals die off. Basically there isn't food for humans to live on... except other humans. Gross.

The movie touches on some pretty heavy themes of suicide, justice, and of course cannibalism. The son constantly asks his father if they're the good guys and the answer is always yes, because they don't eat other people. The notion is terribly disturbing, but more than likely realistic. What would humans resort to in that situation? That's what's so scary. Thankfully there's hope with the father and son; they continue to "carry the fire" as they say.

The film is very bleak and gray. Everything looks cold and wet. The future pretty much sucks and it's depressing to watch. I think the director is very successful in his portrayal of the future. He definitely makes his point. Positive moments are so rare in the movie, that when good things happen, they're miraculous. The screen lights up, color returns to the characters faces, and there's laughter. Those few scenes are what make the movie watchable. Otherwise, I don't think I could stomach it.

Now I mentioned before that the idea of humans losing all humanity is really scary, but the movie doesn't stop there. Humans become monsters in the future. They aren't like mutated zombies or anything; it's not technically that kind of movie. The Road is probably the scariest non-horror movie I've ever seen. Not having read the book I did not expect to see the things I did. It's not really grisley or gory or anything, but it is pretty icky. Let's just say if you're not a cannibal, you're cattle.

The Road is effective and thought-provoking. As gloomy as the visuals are, it's shot beautifully. There are some really cool background shots as the two make their way across the country. Viggo's portrayal of a scared and protective father is believable, especially when he starts to question his humanity as well. But unfortunately, I just couldn't get into this movie. It's not that every movie has to be entertaining and all nice and Hollywood, I'm not saying that at all. For me though, there just needed to be a few more postive moments for me to enjoy it. I appreciated The Road, but I just didn't enjoy it.

3 much needed cleaning products...

(500) Days of Summer (being a pain in the ass)

Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) wants nothing more than to find the love of his life. One day Tom meets Summer (Zooey Deschanel) and he spends 500 days trying to romantically and comically win her over. Well, that’s what I thought was going to happen. In reality, Tom and Zooey start dating immediately and the audience is witness to their off-and-on again relationship.

I really thought I’d love this movie - it looks like a JLG movie for sure. It’s one of those movies I’d consider buying without even having seen it – I was that sure. It’s promoted as an off-beat, non-chick-flicky love story. It looks original and artistic, and stars the love of my movie-watching life, Zooey. But to be honest, I didn’t really like it that much. I liked it a little bit, for a couple reasons, but otherwise it’s not what I expected.

The two things that really separate (500) Days of Summer from other romantic comedies are its visual styling and its non-linear story. It’s filmed and edited beautifully. Tom is an architect at heart and his passion for cityscapes comes out in the scenery throughout the entire movie. We see the city as Tom sees it, which is nice. There are even times when the city becomes Tom’s personal sketch, and it erases around him when he is sad. There are plenty more visual metaphors where that comes from and they are great. I especially loved seeing Tom and Summer in the French film montage.

The plot is told in a non-linear fashion. We kind of start at the end, when Summer and Tom have already ended things. Then we jump back to the beginning to see how they began. It’s similar to Pulp Fiction, only before every “chapter”, we see a number. This number is one day, out of the 500, in the couple’s relationship.

For me, this worked and it didn’t. I understand why they did it – we’re able to see little eccentricities of their relationship in before-and-after scenarios, rather than having the cute little inside jokes brought up every once in a while, and possible overlooked. It makes the little parts of their life stand out and I think we get to know them a little better. However, because they flip from the salad days to the sour days, back and forth, we see Summer as nice, and then not nice. She is such a pain in the ass during those last days, but because we keep going there, it seems like she’s a pain all the time and it made for a very negative movie. And the thing that bothered me most, is that there isn’t really any reason for her to be so mean to Tom. Other than the narrator telling us in the beginning that Summer doesn’t believe in love thanks to her parents’ divorce, we don’t have any clue as to why she’s a beeotch. And furthermore, why does Tom stay with her at all? There isn’t much chemistry between them other than a shared love for art and “indie” music.

Now, if there’s one thing I hate more than a movie-snob, it’s a music snob. But even worse are pretentious hipsters pretending to be music snobs. “I like a band you never heard of, and I wear scarves, therefore I am better than you.” This is the feeling I get with Tom. He’s a nice guy, and all, but he’s borderline snobby. That’s cool though, because he’s a character. What aggravates me is when a screenwriter creates a character like that in the hopes of making them unique and deep. It doesn’t work - they’re off-putting. I’d much rather watch a character that enjoyed what everybody likes – an everyman.

(500) Days is funny at times, but Gordon-Levitt’s character is the only funny one. He's actually a really funny and versatile actor. There are a couple characters, Tom’s friends, who were obviously written in for comic relief – but they’re really not that funny and they’re barely in the movie. This movie is more depressing and heartbreaking than funny.

Visually, (500) Days of Summer is stunning. There are great music montages and pretty clever metaphors. The soundtrack isn’t bad, but as much as I love Zooey’s singing voice, I really wish she’d sing something less Lawrence Welky. The problem with (500) Days is that it really lacks substance. In its attempt to profoundly shed light on fate-versus-coincidence, it misses the mark by not developing the relationship or the characters in it.

3 Summers

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I finally saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button this weekend. There's nothing like a three day break to catch up on movies. In the beginning, I had a few thoughts:

"This movie is awesome."

"That tiny old dude is adorable. Where can I get one?"

"I should really admit that Brad Pitt is my favorite actor. But what will my friends say?"

Then about half-way through, I started thinking:

"Man this movie is really boring."

"Cate Blanchett sure likes to 'sleep' with people."

"Shouldn't he have turned into a fetus?"

Benjamin Button held my attention for a little while. Brad Pitt's portrayal of the little guy was truly endearing. I've always been a fan of Brad Pitt and I feel bad for the guy sometimes. I think the Hollywood hype surrounding him takes away his credibility as an actor. I think I should probably just stop watching Access Hollywood. He really is a fantastic actor. In addition to playing this little kid in an old man's body, he's played some pretty off the wall characters: There's the goofy trainer from Burn After Reading, Tyler Durden in Fight Club, the twitchy schizophrenic in Twelve Monkeys, Mickey from Snatch, and my personal favorite, Floyd from True Romance. Pitt's performance in Benjamin Button is no exception. He's funny and doesn't take himself too seriously. Several of his scenes require him to act using only his face, which was digitally grafted onto a child's body. I imagine that would be pretty tough to pull off.

The special effects were amazing as well. We've all heard about how cool the age enhancement technology looked. But more than that, the environments were beautiful. When Benjamin is working on a tugboat, the ocean and sky around him look like something from a Broadway stage. The buildings during the downtown scene appear this way as well, and rather than cheapen the look of the film, they bring a fantasy/storybook feel to it.

But after a while, these things start to fade. The audience is constantly reintroduced to the same characters over and over again, year after year, and it kind of gets old. And I could not care less about Daisy, Cate Blanchett's character. She's not nice, she's not cute, and she seems so uninterested in Benjamin. I'm not sure if that was the intention, or if Cate just phoned it in. I usually like Cate so I was pretty disappointed.

Button was written for the screen by the same guy who wrote Forrest Gump. So one should expect a moving, meaningful film full of classic one liners and memorable quotes. I mean, "Life is like a box of chocolates," is probably one of the most famous movie quotes ever right? This time, we get, "You never know what's comin' for ya." What does that mean? Something is coming for me? Well what is it? Freddy Kruger? That line is so generic, they could have just said, "Something is going to happen," but nothing ever does. The viewer is constantly reminded that something is coming, but we're left wondering what it is. At the end there's a really corny moment where he reflects on all the people he's met implying they've influenced his life in a profound way. But he doesn't say how. And the reason he doesn't say how is because they really didn't.

Button had so much potential, but the story was lame. The special effects were amazing, and Brad Pitt was great. But there wasn't a plot. People come and go, Benjamin talks to them, and that's it. So rather than anticipating the next twist in the story, I found myself waiting for Benjamin to get older/younger to see what he'd look like. At one point they made him look so young, I swear they used scenes from this movie:

What is the dark side exactly, Brad? Having to wear sunglasses? Yeah, that's a drag. But you showed them! You are so rebel cool.

Here are some clips if you can stand it... The Dark Side of the Sun

Oh yeah, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button gets 3 diapers.

The Last Kiss

So one day Hollywood said, let there be a movie that resembles an independent film. Let it contain fresh young actors in dramatic poses set to "underground" music. Let it be based on a French film, only let's set it in Wisconsin. Let it be called The Last Kiss. And Hollywood saw that it was good. And so did I… for the most part.
Don't get me wrong. I liked this movie. The story was decent – nothing really brilliant until the very end. The cinematography was decent – a little overdramatic for that "indie" feel. But the reason I liked it, above all else, was the actors' ability to separate themselves from the characters we expect to see. And that's basically what this review will focus on.
We expect to see Zach Braff play someone eccentric. On the show Scrubs, Zach plays a silly, almost inhuman, cartoon character. In his film Garden State (The kind of movie Last Kiss wants to be) he plays the exact opposite - an overly medicated Debbie-downer. But can he play Michael, a normal guy, faced with normal conflicts? Yep, and he plays a pretty convincing one, which says a lot for someone who usually plays on the extreme.
There were several times where I wanted him to react a certain way, to shout or dance around. There were even several times where I wanted him to discuss his feelings in a hilarious internal monologue. But he held true to his character, and throughout the film we often wonder what he is thinking. In fact, there were several times when I shouted, "What are you thinking!?"
Sure, he's not the first actor to pick different roles for protection against typecasting. I'm not praising him on that aspect (although he is doing it early in his career - so kudos for that). I'm praising him because his performance in The Last Kiss is obvious proof of his range. Sometimes playing an average person is the hardest to pull off.
Rachel Bilsson's performance is worth praising as well. Her first lines of dialogue as Kim were a little bit "OC". You know the kind, a little overdone and phony. So at first I was a little disappointed. But as the film progressed, her dialogue became a little less forced and perhaps her character was only trying to impress the lead with her wit. The interesting thing, though, is that her collegiate character is more teen-like than her younger OC character. It would have been very easy to play Kim as she plays Summer on The OC. But where Summer is void of personality and true-age, Kim is the perfect example of a college girl. She's a little bit goofy, she's a little bit shy, she wants to be mature, she wants the older guy to like her, and without giving too much away, she thinks she knows how to get the older guy to like her. I sat down ready to dislike Kim, expecting her to be a deliberate home-wrecker. But she's really not. You truly feel sorry for her. My favorite scene involves a mixed CD, and the scene completely belongs to her. She's just so naive you want to cry.
Other than Zach and Rachel, no one else really shines as much, and there are a lot of actors in this movie. Jacinda Barrett plays Jenna, and she's okay. I can only compare her performance to her work in The Real World and, well, I guess this is better. She cries a lot and makes some interesting grunts, but otherwise her acting is just good, not wonderful.
This large cast I mentioned before is required because of all the side-stories. My guess is that these stories were in the original French film. But even so, they just weren't fleshed out here. I walked away wondering what the point of it all was. Were they added to make the movie longer? Maybe the main story didn't fill the hour and a half time slot. Really, I think that these extra characters and stories were included to contrast Michael's life. Their lives were a little crazy, whereas Michael was bored. Enter Michael's motivation.
Casey Affleck's story is touching, but pointless as far as I'm concerned.
Eric Christian Olsen is funny as Kenny, but again, pointless. In fact, his scenes are quite raunchy and would be better off on the cutting room floor (Maybe they can add them back later for the Uncut DVD release!) They made me feel icky.
The story of Jenna's mother and father, played by Blythe Danner and Tom Wilkinson, is interesting. And it does tie in with Jenna's motivations. I like that. We often see a woman scorned, and see the standard reaction. Here, the mother's actions have a significant affect on Jenna's behavior.
You do care about the majority of the characters in the film. I related to them and this was do largely in part to the actors, not necessarily the writing. You have to start with a good screenplay and good dialogue obviously, but in this film the actors truly make the characters real and make the movie good.
The soundtrack left much to be desired and I even cringed when I heard Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek." I love her, and I love the song, but enough already. How many times can we use this song whilst pretty actors do something depressing on screen? Coldplay even appears on this soundtrack. Nuff said.
Like I said before this film wants to be another Garden State. Which is fine. But I guarantee you, at some point during the filmmaking, some studio executive saw some dailies and shouted "Oooh! That's so Indie!" And that's lame.

I give it… 3 kisses.